


What Comes First (It Isn't Him)

by the_gaysian_agenda



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Crossover, Fluff, Gen, Growing Up, Hogwarts, M/M, Oblivious Simon, Pining Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Slice of Life, baz goes to hogwarts, exchange student baz, god i love him with my entire heart, suprise!! how original
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-07 23:09:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13445373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_gaysian_agenda/pseuds/the_gaysian_agenda
Summary: “I’m sorry, what?” Baz stares at his father, unmoving. “You want me to what?”“Basilton, all I’m asking is for you to do one little thing. We’re on shaky ground with the Mage right now, and we need to be able to catch him off guard.”Baz is sent to Hogwarts for a semester. What happens to the rest?





	What Comes First (It Isn't Him)

**Author's Note:**

> hey y'all just wanted to let you know that i fUCKING LOVE CARRY ON 
> 
>  
> 
> okay that is all pls enjoy this shitfest it's all completely self indulgent i forgot that i had it written and found it in my drafts lmao oops i need to stop writing __-transfers-into-school fics

 

“I’m sorry, _what?”_ Baz stares at his father, unmoving. “You want me to _what?”_

“Basilton, all I’m asking is for you to do one little thing. We’re on shaky ground with the Mage right now, and we need to be able to catch him off guard.”

His father sighs, obviously displeased. Neither one of them like obliging the Mage or his ridiculous requests.

“We’re perpetually on ‘shaky ground’ with the Mage. My going to another school as- as an _exchange student_ will not change anything! If anything, the Mage or Sn- his _heir_ will be more inclined to try something in my absence!” Baz stands up, shoving his book to the side.

Fuck his cool-and-calm facade.

“Father, you cannot condone his backhanded actions like this! It’s practically giving his _heir_ free reign while I’m gone- everyone else loves the little slob!” He sneers at the thought. Snow being able to do whatever he pleased— to move his junk to Baz’s side of the room, rearrange the furniture, and _even sneak out at night—_ would be a nightmare.

His role is practically to keep Snow in check, to keep Snow’s _ridiculous_ head with those _ridiculous_ curls from swelling like a balloon with all the _chosen-one-this, chosen-one-that_ . Bloody _fucking_ hell.

“ _Basilton_. We will have one of your cousins keep watch on the heir in your absence. While you are away, even if it is labeled a defense mission, you will be doing reconnaissance for your family and what it stands for. See this as an opportunity.” His father looks tired, the creases on his forehead and the bags under his eyes deepening.

He’s acting like the matter is already said and done, just because the “ _Mage commanded it”._ What, has the Grimm-Pitch family resorted to nothing but _The Mages’_ lapdogs, answering his beck and call?

“You will leave by first light tomorrow. Take the rest of tonight to research this Hogwarts and the students there. You will find that there is an abundance of power to be had, and if you yourself can master their magic, you will become far more powerful than imagined.” His father quirks an eyebrow, daring him to disagree again.

Baz wants to wipe the little smirk off of his white-haired head and toss it out the window, out his dorm window into the moat with the goddamn merfolk.

 _Calm down._ Baz takes a deep breath.

It’s logical, when he actually thinks about it. The old families will be able to learn more about foreign magic, adding to their power, and potentially secure alliances. If it is as the Mage says, they have their own ‘chosen one’, and if Baz can sway him- or her- there’s a whole new playing piece on the chess game for their magic.

 _But I don’t want a new player,_ Baz almost thinks, _I'm very happy with the one I have_. He catches himself in time.

“Do I have a choice in the matter?” Baz knows the answer. He knows that his father is convinced and that Fiona will be easily persuaded— even Baz himself is near convinced. He gathers his books from where they’ve fallen.

 _But Snow,_ his brain whispers. What _about_ Snow? There’s nothing about Snow. He’s just another little pawn on the Mages chessboard.

The world doesn’t revolve around Snow. It’s time that his subconscious learned it. A break will be good.

_Good for what? Forgetting the color blue?_

_Shut up._

 

\--

 

“Baz? What’re you doing?” Snow asks, the idiot.

“Isn’t it obvious? I know you’re a bit thick, but-” Baz snaps, riled up.

“Can you just- just be- not- for once?” Snow stammers, interrupting him.

“Snow, I am _packing_. If you can’t grasp that concept then you are truly more childish than I thought.” He picks up another perfectly-pressed button down and folds it into his suitcase.

“ _I_ _can see that,”_ Snow grinds out. “But what I meant was, _why?_ ” He puts his homework to the side, leaning forwards on his knees. Baz pulls his eyes away from Snow’s biceps. Damn his sleeveless shirt.  

“I’ve been assigned a mission, Snow. Some of us are actually deemed proficient enough to be _useful_.” Baz keeps his tone perfectly even, even though his every muscle strains to just _stay_ , stay here in their dorm at the top of the tower, sharing a bedroom with Snow. He reasons that it’s because of the familiarity. He does prefer his bed here over his gargoyle-ridden bedroom. And the window is nice to have. It has nothing to do with pleasant memories of falling asleep to Snow’s even breathing or smelling green-branch smoke when he opens the door.

Nothing at all.

“A mission? For the _families?”_ Snow shifts a little farther forwards on his elbows and the room presses in a little more.

“No, moron, for the Mage. Apparently, he doesn’t think you’re worth informing.” His response is clipped and he tells himself that he hopes it’ll sting Snow in the middle of his glass heart. Which is in the middle of his chest. Which Baz can see, because his top is just a piece of fabric clinging to his shoulder blades for life- _he has a mole on his collarbone_.

Baz finishes packing and heads to the bathroom to double-check for forgotten items. Moles or not, he is not leaving his face washes and soaps in _Simon Snow’s_ explosion-prone hands.

“Baz! Wait-” Snow starts. Baz turns.

“What? I have a train to catch.” He snaps, crossly.

“Where are you going? How long will you be gone?” Snow looks frantic, his messy hair somehow looking messier.

“London. I don’t know. The rest of the year?” What time is it? He really needs to go but-

Snow cuts through his train of thought.  

“An entire year?! You’re just _leaving?_ What about Penny? She’ll get the highest marks without you here!” He looks strangely hurt. _Why should he be?_

“Yes, Snow, I know you’re dumb, but are you unable of comprehending the simplest sentences? You should be pleased— you get our room entirely to yourself. And Bunce is your friend- don’t you want her to get the best marks?” It comes out harsher than he'd meant it. Oh well. It’s no less than what Snow will be expecting of him.

“I- I just- you better not be _plotting_ anything, alright?” Snow flushes and throws himself back down onto his bed, jerkily pulling his homework back onto his lap. He snaps his head down so quickly that Baz thinks he’s going to get whiplash just watching. He watches Snow hunch his shoulders up, furrowing deeper into his textbook as if it’s got the secrets of the goddamn _universe_ in it.

Maybe it does. Maybe it does, inside Snow’s half-assed pea-brained minuscule little _heteronormative_ universe.

 _You’re not the center of_ my _universe,_ Baz almost says. _I don’t need you._ But as soon as he thinks it, he realizes that it sounds a bit sappy and a bit like a breakup line from one of his little sister’s romances.

 _Not like thick-skulled Simon fucking Snow would think of it in_ that _way,_ he thinks bitterly.

“No promises, Snow.” He’s wasted enough time here. 

Baz leaves, his footsteps echoing down the staircase after him.

Fuck his subconscious, and _fuck_ blue eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! I know that it's short and a shitty intro chapter but thank you!! there is more to come, i promise
> 
> i love you all ❤ ❤ ❤
> 
> Edit 5/21/18: uhhh sorry I promise that I’ll update soon???? Aaaah I forgot about it then was in China for like a month ish for school and now I have finals?? SORRY IM AWFUL LOVE YOU GUYS


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